This time...

This time 10 years ago, I had just left my psychological bully of a first husband. I didn't know it yet, but within months I would be embroiled in a desperate attempt to keep custody of my daughter. I eventually got shared custody, which brought daily misery to my life until just this year.

This time 5 years ago, I was recovering from an 8 week stint with viral meningitis. I was so desperate to have a normal Christmas that I made my partner take me to our work Christmas do. I think we managed to stay out until 9.00pm.

This time 3 years ago, partner had become husband and we had dreams of starting a family.

This time 2 years ago, we celebrated Christmas while grieving 4 lost babies and wondering if we'd ever have a child together.

This time last year, I had lost another baby, but its twin was alive and well inside me. I wondered whether he would come before Christmas. He did.

This time this year, I have had nearly a year with my precious boy and his amazing big sister who is turning into a young woman before my eyes. I have seen my husband be a daddy. I have heard a young voice call him dada.

This time thing. This wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, heals-all thing. It's really rather amazing, isn't it.

Happy Holidays.